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‘Twas a cold, winter’s night, and down at blue base,
Life slowly went by at a monotonous pace;
Artillery was left without guard, and who cared?
Attack the blue base? Red Team wouldn’t dare!
Down in the bunker Caboose and Church sat,
Wishing for something that they could shoot at.
While Tex in her grey and Sis in her yellow.
Hoped command would send out a more ‘interesting’ fellow.
Then, to their surprise who should come running in?
‘Twas Tucker with an unhelpful look of chagrin.
“They’re just over the hill!” He yelled in great haste.
“To your posts!” shouted Church, “They will not take our base!”
From the roof they could see the Reds getting quite close,
In their beat up Warthog and a couple of Ghosts.
From below, in the garage came an engine-like sound,
As Sheila drove out, and her gun swung around.
“So, now what?” said Caboose “all these buttons are swell.”
“Oops, wrong one.” And he cringed as the tank fired a shell.
Church whirled around to see what had been done.
Only to be hit by the shell from the gun.
“Not again,” mumbled Church “as he slowly expired”
“Oh crap!” Caboose yelled. “I must have misfired!”
From the ridge came the taunts and cat-calls of the Reds
And once again it seemed the blue leader was dead.
“Shut-up you ninnies!” Sarge yelled to his troop.
“We can’t give the Blues any time to regroup.
Donut and Grif you head on ‘round the flank.
Simmons and I will go take out the tank.”
With the Reds closing in and Blues without command
It seemed that the end of Blue Team was at hand.
When what, in the shimmering stars should appear
But a Covenant ship full of troops drawing near.
Down through the snowflakes the transport descended,
As both teams watched it land, their shared thought was “how splendid!”
The Red vs. Blue fight, for a time set aside
Turned both forces against the real ‘enemy side.’
The nighttime Blood Gulch, lit with deadly crossfire,
And for Covenant forces the outcome looked dire.
As their ship lifted up with equipment all loaded.
Sheila hit the fuel tank and it promptly exploded.
“Woohoo! Explosions!” Grif yelled as it thundered.
“This is definitely better than episode 100.”
Off in the distance the sun started to rise
Donut danced with excitement, “It’s Christmas you guys!”
“Do I get a pony?” Caboose said with great glee.
“Do I get to kill Tucker?” Tex asked hopefully.
“Hey now” said Tucker, as Tex raised her gun.
“All I wanted was just to have some kinky fun.”
“I can oblige!” Sister said “Lets do it nonstop”
“As long as sometimes I get to be on top.”
Tex sighed with disgust, and walked off towards the base
As Sister gave Tucker a girlish embrace.
The rest wandered off at a tired-looking lurch,
While Sis wondered what they would do without Church.
“Who cares?” Tucker said. “But as for right now,
Merry Christmas to all and Bow Chicka Bow Wow”
A little adaptation of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" done for a friend who is a total Halo Fanatic.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconshadowhunteraid:
shadowhunterAID Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Nice :D 
Reply
:iconwhitestriker1219:
whitestriker1219 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013
Best work ever! Of all time.
Reply
:iconzombieflame:
ZombieFlame Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
OMG instant fave!!!!!!! love it well done
Reply
:iconweaponsfree:
WeaponsFree Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
nice
Reply
:iconrosevalentine13:
RoseValentine13 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Student General Artist
That was amazing :)
Reply
:iconbunneyctrl:
bunneyctrl Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012
Best. Poem. Ever.
Reply
:iconmidgetpenguin83:
midgetpenguin83 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2012
This is HANDS DOWN the most amazing thing I've ever read! +FAV
Reply
:iconsafaiahawke:
SafaiaHawke Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
OMG that was awsome XD However Caboose and Sister said words too smart for the "Oblige" and "Misfired" :P
Reply
:iconthemightymeta:
TheMightyMeta Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
This is friggin sweet!
Reply
:iconcrazyladyii:
CrazyLadyII Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
“Do I get a pony?” Caboose said with great glee.
“Do I get to kill Tucker?” Tex asked hopefully.
Tex! Dear God, I love you!!!
Reply
:iconblumo0n:
BluMo0n Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011
OMG; that's amazing. Best adaptation ever.
Reply
:iconeasrebe12:
Easrebe12 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011
During the chrismas season i think ima memorize this so i can piss people off = u=
Reply
:iconayb1125:
ayb1125 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011
AWESOMENESS!!!
Reply
:iconnazizombiekiller217:
NaziZombieKiller217 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2011
YES! tucker gettin laid by a real girl!
Reply
:iconshiri1432:
Shiri1432 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Totally putting this up on fb around christmas! (my group on there is team blue and I will give you all credit that is very much due (holy shit! that just rhymed totally by accident!))
Reply
:iconshiri1432:
Shiri1432 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
LOLZ!
Reply
:iconaura-immortal:
Aura-Immortal Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Epic!
Reply
:iconcaboosekilldyou:
CabooseKilldYOU Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011
best ending ever
Reply
:iconsaroko:
Saroko Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2011
OH. MY. GOD

*bows down before you*
Reply
:icon9tailedgennin:
9tailedgennin Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2011
that.....was.....awsome
Reply
:iconstarry-starry-flight:
...BRILLIANT. That made my day-- no, probably my week. XD
Reply
:iconravyn713:
Ravyn713 Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2010
wow this is REALLY good. bravo.
Reply
:iconsarahbarah066:
sarahbarah066 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2010
Wow...Awesome :D
Reply
:iconb-rad6970:
B-RaD6970 Featured By Owner May 3, 2010
WOW! THAT IS ABSOLUTELY EPIC!!!!
Reply
:icontoadeathax:
ToaDeathax Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2010
nice ending with Bow CHicka Bow wow XD
Reply
:iconkaptain-kat:
Kaptain-Kat Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2010
AWESOME.
I saw this done with transformers. Completely different, but same "Christmas story". Woo hoo!

And the bow chicka bow wow was epic. :D
Reply
:iconflarehunter76:
FlareHunter76 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2009
yeah!!!! awezomeee!!!!
Reply
:iconchurchluvr13:
churchluvr13 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2009  Student Interface Designer
KICK ASS!!!! omg i like the bow chicka bow wow at the end. i put that in a christmas fwd. everyone luved it. i got sooo many back. AWESOME WORK
Reply
:iconr0thian:
R0thian Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
AWEsome! very nice!!!
Reply
:iconmichael-j-caboose:
Michael-J-Caboose Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2009  Student Writer
Merry Christmas to all, and to all Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow!!! FUCKING GREAT DUDE!!!! YOU NEED TO LIVE FOREVER AND KEEP MAKING THIS STUFF!!!! FUCKING GREAT!!!
Reply
:icontheriddlebox:
TheRiddlebox Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009
must resist urge to freak out
Reply
:iconsupersayain3goten:
SuperSayain3Goten Featured By Owner May 4, 2009   Digital Artist
Nice! I really liked the last two lines. But did Sis really mean it...?
Reply
:icondanish450:
danish450 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009  Hobbyist Filmographer
dude that was the greatest thing i have ever read for RVB
Reply
:iconangiethestrange:
AngieTheStrange Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2009
Very cool.
Reply
:iconfairyyoshi:
Fairyyoshi Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2009  Student Digital Artist
Woah man, thats amazing. XD
Reply
:iconpossumgirl:
PossumGirl Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2009
Amazing, wow

Or should I say bow chicka bow WOW

...
Okay bad joke.

Love this, defiently a fav
Reply
:iconcaseywrightart:
CaseyWrightArt Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2009
Those last couple lines are perfect. Spot on. As is the rest of it, but I especially like those two. Really good job!
Reply
:iconspartan-117cortana:
Spartan-117Cortana Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2008
"Merry Christmas to all and Bow Chicka Bow Wow!"
lol ur a poetry GOD!!!
Reply
:iconedenvale:
Edenvale Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Lol hardly. But thanks!!
Reply
:iconspartan-117cortana:
Spartan-117Cortana Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2008
Lol ur welcome!
Reply
:iconharmonic-discordia:
harmonic-discordia Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:rofl: OMG, this wins. :+favlove:
Reply
:iconman-on-the-3up:
Man-on-the-3up Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2008
Awesome poem dude!
Reply
:iconedenvale:
Edenvale Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! It was a joy to write!
Reply
:iconremrose:
Remrose Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2008
You should be god.
Reply
:iconmadbird-valiant:
Madbird-Valiant Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2008
Holy shit. You are, in one word, epic. May many good looking and successful children be born of you, sir or madam.
Reply
:iconedenvale:
Edenvale Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! I sure hope the whole children thing will work out that way!
Reply
:iconmadbird-valiant:
Madbird-Valiant Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2008
xD
Reply
:iconwildwolffanatic:
WildWolfFanatic Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2008
I love it! Exellent rhyming scheme! Red vs. Blue ftw! ^^
Reply
:iconsoldier629:
soldier629 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2008
(TYPO)
“Not again,” mumbled Church “as he slowly expired”

should be: “Not again,” mumbled Church as he slowly expired.
Reply
:iconedenvale:
Edenvale Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! This was written pretty hastily.
Reply
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